这篇文决定用中文来写，因为老实说，我的英文已经烂到一个程度连简单的东西都表达不出来了。最近跑了美国一趟，兜兜转转，又回来了。在那里接触了许多的中国人以及台湾人。去了一趟美国，英文不止没进步，还弄来了怪里怪气的中国口音（因为这件事还被朋友笑了一顿）

如何说起呢？开始写之前，头脑浮现了好多想法。真正坐下来写的时候，怪了，反而什么都写不出来。想了很多，考虑了很多，也做出了相当大的一个决定，放弃一个不再是是梦想的梦想。为这梦想说付出的时间与金钱到头来变成一种浪费。虽然自己不这样想（如果自己也这样想，那我真的也不用活了，干脆挖个地洞钻下去），但无法改变家人对这件事情的看发。读了一年半，花了上一万，如今却要重新开始。汗，我也只能干笑了。

这应该就是所谓人生的一个转涙点吧？梦想是奢侈的，金钱是现实的，时间是宝贵的。想了一想，可能真的要舍弃读了一生的科学了。真的这么做了，也只会有解脱的感觉，没有舍不得。长大了，面临的种种问题，抉择越来越困难，只怕走错了一步。竟然走错了，只能从起点再走过。

希望一切事物从这一刻起会变得美好，因为人心是承担不起那么多创伤的！

In 2 days, I have done more reading than I did in the past few months ever since my laptop died on me. It is good to tear away from the computer some time. It proves that I have a life outside the internet world. Just the other night when I told Debra on MSN about my laptop she laughed at me and commented that my existence depended upon my laptop. Haha.. How pathetic is that? My whole life is defined by my laptop. Make it past tense. Unhealthy attachment to electronic device..check..but will be a cross as soon as I manage to get myself busy.



While walking by the racks of books at the public library this morning, I had this urge of scanning through the books that I could get in my hands. Being a nerd, loving books is an essential characteristics that you either have innately or developed as you grew up. I love books, love the scent of the books and in a way, it delighted me. Don't know if I'm qualified to be called one but I would be happy to be one.

As they say in the Big Bang Theory, nerds are new the sexy :D What's wrong with being a nerd and intelligent? Even though being a nerd doesn't necessarily mean you are intelligent, it means something.

My blog has been dead for a little while and I am sorry about it. I haven't had the time nor the motivation to blog. It is difficult for me to put my thoughts into words, sometimes I don't even bother talking. Well, if you are guessing this is another meaningless post with no content, you're right! Before I first started the blog, I never thought that I would be a bad blogger. I can't be bothered about blogging my days, my school, my work and my family. Sometimes I do, but with very little detail. Don't get me wrong, I do share. I do it on the MSN, not here because I believe this is a place for me to rant, rumble, talk nonsense and most importantly, write english.

In case any of you are wondering where I am and what I am doing now (if anyone's really reading) , I am currently in Sibu, STILL having my holidays. I will be leaving for KL on the 24 december and the states on the 28th. I will be sure to update you on my whereabouts personally on MSN when I get to US. Or I could get into another blogging fever when I get myself a digital camera.

That's all for now. Those who happen to be in Sibu now, do ask me out to coffee chat, lunch or movies. I am always available. Haha I hope I don't sound desperate. I am not.

分离前的2个小时30分钟

不舍的眼泪从脸庞不停地滑下，不停地。。滑下。是这样吗？会哭吗？会哭吧。 会那样潇洒地，毫无保留地哭吧？不会吧，因为那不是我的作风。

机场的重逢是想念的结束；机场的分离是想念的开始。还是会哭吧，偷偷地，鼻子酸一酸，往肚子里流。因为不想被妈妈看见坚强的女儿放声大哭的丢脸画面，所以只可能在离别后，独自一个人在机场默默地悲伤。

为什么人。。总是这样呢？总是在即将离别那一刻，才会想起身边的人的好。此时此刻，想起了妈妈为我做的我喜欢吃的菜肴，想起了她喜欢唠唠叨叨的样子，想起了她每一次在我离开的前一晚都会难过的睡不着觉。事到如今了，她仍然还是那句“为什么要跑到那么远去？”。某个程度上来说，我是很不孝吧。看见年过半百，已经失去老伴的妈妈，我终究还是选择追求自己的理想，把自己的需求放在第一位。当我今早跟她提说若我签证办不成，就索性去古晋读医科的时候，妈妈反而送了一口气，露出一副很希望我去不成美国的样子。是啊，唯一的一个女儿，最小的，却也即将成为唯一一个不在自己居住的国家的家人。

How ironic is it that I've always wanted to be a grown up, now that I'm finally one I think it sucks to be one?

People go clubbing when they're bored. I get it now.

MEH

In my world, there are only

• My body issue : my big tummy
• My academic performance
  
• Sports
  
• TV Shows
  
• Comics
  
• Internet

All I talk about are

• My body issue
• My academic performance
• Sports : tennis
• TV Shows
  
• Comics
• Gossip

I don't know whether it is good to be boring but I do feel guilty if I ever bore you to death.

I miss watching Grey's Anatomy Season 1 and Season 2
I miss listening to Grey's Anatomy soundtracks late at night with all the lights off.
I miss listening to Snow Patrol's Chasing Car when Danny was slowly dying in his bed alone in the Season 2 Finale.
I miss watching Isabel lying on the bathroom floor in her fancy prom dress, grieving over Danny's death
I miss watching Meredith and Derek painfully in love when there's an Addison standing between them